Annie Lawrence

A few weeks ago, while home in Virginia, I got the chance to shoot a new cover video with some friends.

We covered Patty Griffin’s “RAIN”.  While it is a somber and serious tune, the lyrics and melody are so beautiful that I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to film it with these talented musicians.

Chad Altenberger - Electric Guitar
Kevin Deck - Mandolin
Zach Wiley - Acoustic Guitar

I couldn’t ask for a more talented group of guys.
The video was produced by Matt Rouse and Landon Harris of Pine River Films.  It was shot inside my family home located in Roanoke, Virginia.  My friend and esteemed photographer Tom Lim came by the shoot to take these amazing pictures.

You can watch the video HERE.  If you like it feel free to comment/like or subscribe as well as check out the other videos on my YouTube channel.

Thanks for reading and supporting.

Much Love.

If God is so good then why does He let bad things happen? 

The question that, in this life, we so often face.  Whether it is pointed towards us, or whether we are wrestling with it on our own.

I’m finding myself in a season where I seem to arrive at dusty dead-end streets, and all that is left is the dirt that lingers on your skin.  This season where slowly, one after another, these events seem to occur - in my own life, but also heavily in the lives of those around me.

A young sister lost in a tragic accident.  Getting laid off from a job.  The loss of a grandmother to cancer.  Traumatized by witnessing a gang-related shooting.  A home being vandalized.  The stinging pain of a breakup.  Natural disasters taking lives and causing massive destruction.  Questioning God, searching for answers.  The unexpected loss of a father.  A three month old child, found dead.  A debilitating sickness that will not go away, despite the hundreds of times you’ve cried out to God for healing, for deliverance, for freedom.

All things I have witnessed as of late.

God, we know that you have the power to do all things.  To heal all, to take away all, to rescue all.  Is this not what you came here to do?  You tell us in your word that you heal all of our diseases (Psalm 103:3).  So where is the healing God?  Is ten years not a long enough time to endure?  You have the power to take it away AND continue using our story.  So why this way?

I am convinced that we will not receive the full answer until we meet Jesus face to face.  Until then, we’re left with the truth of His word.  His word that so often in these moments is the last thing I want to run to.  That when my spirit is weakened, I often push aside, because I don’t feel like jumping into the lap of my Father.  His word which, when I choose to run to, never fails.  Always comforts. Always rescues.

¹⁷ “Is anyone crying for help? God is listening,
ready to rescue you.

¹⁸ If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;
if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.

¹⁹ Disciples so often get into trouble;
still, God is there every time.

²⁰ He’s your bodyguard, shielding every bone;
not even a finger gets broken.

²¹ The wicked commit slow suicide;
they waste their lives hating the good.

²² God pays for each slave’s freedom;
no one who runs to him loses out.”

              -Psalm 34:17-22

*Please pray for the O’Rourke family (Brentwood, TN) after losing their daughter, Shawn, in a tragic car crash.  She leaves behind her husband, parents, and 12 siblings.

*Please pray for the Porter family (Roanoke, VA) after the unexpected death of their father.

It’s moments and messages like these, that God uses to knock me off my feet, humble me, and remind me that he truly will use our trials for GOOD.

Received these message from a college student at church I had met only once before.  Hope it encourages you to keep pushing through trials with eyes fixed on Christ.

“…Some point at church I remember hearing your song, Find Rest, during worship, and I loved it. Then through someone (maybe Cameron?) I heard that you had recorded it and I downloaded it. I just wanted to let you know that throughout the past year, I have struggled through many different trials and frustrations and hard things… and nearly every week (some weeks, every day) I read Psalm 62. God had just laid it on my heart repeatedly. I happened to hear several sermons/talks about it, and I soaked in the truth of His Word over and over again.

However… I also listened to your song about a MILLION times. On repeat. Sometimes while I was crying out to the Lord, begging Him to heal my broken heart or fix whatever was happening. Sometimes while things were great and I was actually resting in Him. But, quite honestly, mostly, when I was having a hard time, or when I was needing to rest in Him, or when I was needing to fix my eyes on Jesus. Your song, and your voice, have blessed me and encouraged me time and time again as I’ve gone throughout the past year.

I wanted to share with you to encourage you. I’m not sure if you plan on writing more songs and continuing to make music, but even if you don’t create another song, this one has made a difference in my heart and in my life this year. Psalm 62 has been the theme of my year, and with that, comes Find Rest as the background music, so to speak. THANK YOU for following God’s lead and writing and recording this song. You’re wonderful, you have a true gift and a beautiful voice, and I’m looking forward to hopefully hearing more”

Truly humbling.  Thank you Lord for this sweet reminder of your goodness and purpose even through our hardest days.

Here’s a post from a friend’s status today about her 5 and 3 year old sons.  It brought such a big smile to my face:

“Light is stronger than darkness
Lies can’t hold the truth
When all around me seems hopeless
There is You
Light is stronger than darkness
~Annie Lawrence

(Chase was singing this song as he was getting dressed this morning and Jackson said, “That’s right, Chase. Jesus is the truth and Satan is a liar and Jesus will ALWAYS defeat him.” I love my 5 year old theologian).”

Wednesday I made a phone call to a friend from Aletheia, asking if she and her daughter would continue to pray for me.

My two year old friend Sarah Grace hopes to one day be a ballerina, and I know she will be a great one at that.  When I go over to her house to play, she puts on her pink slippers and princess dress and twirls around the living room joyfully, watching her reflection in the glow of the oven window.  She loves to sing and dance to my song Find Rest, which never ceases to bring a smile to my face. 

Next to my dad, Sarah Grace is probably the one who has been most dedicated to praying over me and the healing of my vocal chords.  When I had to stop watching her on Thursday evenings due to not being able to speak, her mother Mary told me, “I explained to Sarah Grace that you had a boo-boo on your throat, and we pray that Jesus will heal you and make it all better.” 

A few weeks ago I was at Aletheia for band practice - the first week I was able to start singing again.  As we were running through Find Rest, I saw a little face peek through the double doors.  Sarah Grace stood there (having escaped from the mommy-bible study babysitters), jumping up and down with excitement.  When I talked to her mother afterwards she explained that Sarah Grace had said, “Mommy, Annie’s singing! Her boo-boo is all better!”  Mary said Sarah had been praying for me every day. 

Seeing her abundant joy over God’s answer to her prayers was so encouraging to me.  This little girl is not even three years old, and she trusts that Jesus is in control, that He is good, and that He will answer us when we cry out to Him.  “And I want to believe like that…”

Two days ago, just three weeks after I began singing again, I returned to the ENT.  I made the appointment because I had been struggling a lot with my voice and throat the previous week.  Praying for the best, but honestly knowing what I expected to hear, I returned to get my throat re-scoped.  Sure enough, my nodules were back - two of them, protruding from my vocal chords, I could see them on the screen, clear as day.  And nowwww, back to square one.

“Really God, REALLY?!” Was all I felt like saying to Him.  I just didn’t understand - going through 2 months without speaking was one of the hardest things I think I’ve had to wait through and now I’m right back to where I started.  Not only that, but why did he seem to continually lay everything on me at once?  This news being added on top of an unhopeful family diagnosis, struggles through a hurtful heart situation, and threats concerning my safety (no worries, I am okay, but it does shake you up quite a bit).  Just the day before I had been crying to my parents on the phone in the middle of Food Lion, because I was scared of what had and what might have happened.

Yet through all of this, I am reminded of little Sarah Grace, jumping up and down with joy, having put her trust in Christ.  She was faithful to make her requests known to God, and faithfully believed that He would answer them.  In the hard moments of this past week, I thought of this image and was encouraged to keep trusting, keep praying, and waiting - even though I didn’t understand - in His perfect timing.